Texan Magazine
By Matthew Harvey
Howdy y’all! It’s that time of year again. The temperature is finally dropping, football is back, and inevitably there’s that friend who posts, “only 54 more days ‘til Christmas,” on their Facebook page. It’s fall, and it’s the holiday season!
Some of us are thinking about the great tradition of cooking items we talk about all year, but never want to make until we’re so stressed out with shopping, family, travel and everything else we have to do.
We honestly could benefit from having a temporary on-demand kitchen staff, but no, we decide we’re going to be a one-person wrecking crew, five-star, Michelin rated, under-the-radar culinary dynamo.
But what to make?
Should you go the traditional route and have two turkeys, one for November and one for December and pray that there are enough people to finish it all off so you and the kids aren’t eating turkey until doomsday?
Why not change it up a bit and go with something different? Go easy or go hard. Well, regardless, I think we can all get behind the theme of “let’s make it less stressful.” Let the stress go to someone else who decided to wait ‘til the last minute to get that whole chicken in the oven and pass it off as a small turkey. It’s the holidays, and you’re meant to have a little bit of joy during this time. At least that’s the prevalent thought.
So where to start. Just because we’re past Labor Day doesn’t mean we move right into Christmas. I don’t care what the television commercials and store displays say. There’re two more holidays to go before the new year, (more than one if you are in another country or have another culture). So, embrace them.
Plan a fun menu for each one. It doesn’t have to be a massive ordeal.
Let’s start with something fun, sweet and simple.
NO-BAKE PUMPKIN OR REINDEER POPS
Go to the store and buy Oreos. Any kind, even the pumpkin spice ones, or mint if you want. Also, get a package of cream cheese and a 16-ounce bag of baker’s semi-sweet chocolate. ( Or use colored candy melts, which come in a variety of colors.) Melt the baker’s chocolate. You can do this in a microwave if you are truly daring, but I prefer a double boiler. If you don’t have one or are worried because you’ve seen bad experiences on every show on Food Network, then go with very low and slow in a microwave. Make sure to add a tablespoon of either coconut oil or vegetable oil when melting. This will ensure a smoother melt and more consistency. Break up the cookies and mix with the cream cheese until thoroughly mixed together. Once mixed, form the mixture into 1-inch balls or so. You don’t need to measure them, just make sure they are around the size of a golf ball or a bit smaller. We’re not making snowballs or baseballs. Place the balls onto a thin pan lined with wax paper and freeze for 10 minutes. After 10 minutes, pull them out and dip them into the melted chocolate. This could get messy, so don’t do this while wearing your work clothes or something you plan on going out in. Place them back onto the paper and refrigerate for up to an hour.
Use white chocolate if you prefer. Less stress, more fun. Get the family involved, you can even decorate them with sprinkles to look like ornaments. And it’s the holidays so calories don’t count.
But I’m trying to watch my figure, you say. Well, this is the wrong article for that. That’s more for after New Year’s, when you’ve made that same resolution for the last decade of eating healthier. Mind you, you can still do this and not go overboard. It’s all up to you, you got this.
Thanksgiving just got more thank-filled. The first hurdle of the fall. Thanksgiving, where the tried-and-true tradition is to take a turkey and either bake it, smoke it, fry it, or order it from someone else and have ALL the fixin’s. You can certainly do that. But you wouldn’t be reading this long if you wanted the traditional. You want to kick your game up a level. Thanksgiving isn’t the same without dessert. Well, let’s make something fun, with a twist. It’s your meal and your family, shake it up.
BOURBON AND CHOCOLATE PECAN PIE
3 tablespoons of butter, melted.
3 eggs, beaten.
¾ cup brown sugar
2 tablespoons of flour
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
¾ cup dark corn syrup
3 tablespoons bourbon
1 ½ cups of halved pecans
½ cup of mini milk chocolate morsels
1 unbaked pie shell
Homemade whipped cream
This all seems daunting, but it’s not. Just follow these simple steps.
Melt the butter in a small saucepan. While that’s melting, add beaten eggs to a medium sized bowl, stir in the brown sugar, flour, vanilla extract, corn syrup, and bourbon. I prefer a good stout bourbon, something like Ironwolf Select or Still Austin Cask Strength (sorry I like Texas Bourbon). Once combined mix in the pecans and chocolate morsels. Slowly whisk in the melted butter after it’s cooled (you don’t want to scramble the eggs) and then pour into the pie shell. Place this on a sheet tray and back for about an hour.
While this is baking, we’re going to make whipped cream. It’s just better when it’s made from scratch. Trust me.
You’ll need the following ingredients:
HOMEMADE WHIPPED CREAM
1 cup heavy cream
4 tablespoons of confectioners’ sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Pour the heavy cream into a bowl and begin whipping it. If you don’t have an electric mixer, you can do it by hand, just make sure you’re ready for one heck of a workout. Once the cream becomes thick, as you whip the crud out of it add the confectioners’ sugar and mix in for another 2 minutes or so. Once done pour in the vanilla extract and fold it gently. Then refrigerate.
Back to the pie…
Once your pie has baked, take it out of the oven and set it aside to cool.
Little tip here, if there’s family around, keep an eye on it, or someone’s getting into it.
After cooling, (you’re looking at 30 minutes or more), you can serve it after or with Thanksgiving dinner.
Just don’t forget that whipped cream you made.
LET’S TALK TURKEY
Now, I know, I know, some people’s families are traditionalists. Or maybe you save it for Christmas (see the movie The Holiday starring Jude Law, Jack Black, Kate Winslet, and Cameron Diaz), well, we can be traditional, yet not traditional at the same time. If you followed this magazine since last year, you remember that I don’t bake turkeys. I don’t. The last couple of years I started air frying them in a Ninja XL air fryer. I highly recommend one if you don’t have one, or if your oven has an air fry setting, you’re all set.
SECRET SEASONING FOR THE TURKEY
I’ve added something to my turkey seasoning though. Again, I buy a 12-to-14-pound turkey, I don’t like too many leftovers (mainly because I end up being the only one who eats them). I get it thawed and unwrapped, and pull out the gizzards, the neck, and the organs. I then take about a half a roll of paper towels and dry out the turkey. Once the turkey is nice and dry, I go over the turkey and pull out any remaining pin feathers with a clean and sterile pair of needle nose pliers. What can I say, I’m a bit country sometimes.
I then grab a bottle of Tony Chachere’s Injectable Creole Butter Marinade and inject every part of that bird with it. By the time I’m done, that turkey looks like it’s been to the gym. I don’t stop injecting until some of it starts coming back out of it. Now, here’s where I’ve changed things up a bit. I’ve added to my dry rub. I used a combination of salt, pepper, garlic salt, smoked paprika, and some Kirkland’s Sweet Mesquite rub, or a honey hickory rub from Costco. That’s right, I bulk shop my seasonings, don’t judge me. Coat the entire bird. Pat it in and set it in the fridge for about a day or two before cooking. Now again, cooking times will be different depending on the method. You’re looking at 45 minutes to fry, 2 hours or so to air fry, 12 hours to smoke, and about four 4 hours to bake. You want the internal temperature to be at about 165. If you don’t have a probe thermometer, get one. I hate those turkey timer things that come in some turkeys. I pull them out.
Christmas with a twist?
Wow, so that’s two of the three major holidays knocked out. Now to the big one (well if you believe every store décor or commercial from now through December. But come on, you just had turkey last month. Do you really want another? I know I don’t. Depending on the size of the turkey, heck you may be throwing out the remainder by the time you have to start getting ready for this holiday. So, what are we going to do? Did you say change it up? You didn’t? Oh, well I did, so that’s what we’re gonna do. Let’s make Christmas pizza, cause why not. And no, I don’t mean going to the freezer section of the store and getting some ready to make pizzas. For the crust, we need 6 simple ingredients:
1 Cup warm water
1 package active dry yeast
1 tsp sugar
2 ½ cups of bread Flour
2 tablespoons of extra virgin Greek Olive Oil or Texas Olive Ranch Olive Oil (the roasted garlic is amazing)
1 teaspoon of salt
Preheat your oven to 450 and light grease a pizza pan or sheet pan (Pam works well here). Place the warm water in a bowl, add the yeast and sugar and mix. Let it stand until creamy, which takes about 10 minutes or so. Add the flour, oil, salt, and the yeast/sugar mix into a stand mixer and mix til smooth. If you don’t have a stand mixer what’s wrong with you? No, I’m kidding, you can use a whisk, or a hand mixer as well. But get a mixer, they’re awesome. Let the newly mixed dough rest for 5 minutes. It’s tired, it’s had a long day, you just beat it up a bit. Turn it out onto a light floured surface and roll into an even 12-inch circle. You may want to put some flour on your hands as well and on a rolling pin if you use one, this will prevent sticking. Transfer the dough to the pizza pan or a sheet pan and stretch evenly until it sits on the edges. You may want to build it up on the ends to make a crust. Now it’s time to add the toppings. Use any pizza sauce you prefer and spread around leaving about a ½ to ¼ inch unsauced ring around the pizza. Try to find whole milk low moisture mozzarella cheese. This is the key to amazing pizza. Cover with a layer of cheese. Add in any meats or vegetables you want pepperoni, salami, bell pepper, jalapeno, artichoke, the dreaded pineapple chucks, ham I mean the possibilities are endless here. Once your toppings are added, cover with another layer of cheese, because, well it’s cheese. I like to then brush the crust with some melted butter. Place in the oven for about 15 to 20 minutes. Once done, let it sit to cool down, you don’t want molten pizza in your mouth. 5 minutes is more than enough, then cut and serve.
If you’ve had a long day, get everyone involved. Get several pizza trays, and enough ingredients for each member of your family to make their own pizza. That way everyone gets what they want, there’s no fighting about toppings people like or don’t like, and everyone gets to be happy. Well, everyone except that one aunt that’s decided she’s gluten free, dairy free, and can’t eat meat. We can’t make her happy. I mean well you can, but in that instance go get a Daiya pizza that are gluten and dairy free. See, now everyone is happy.
FLUFF
I have to end on a holiday staple dessert that I’ve written about before. It’s a tradition in my family dating back over 30 years. So, forgive me while I plagiarize myself from one of my previous articles.
When I’m thinking about preparing dessert, and I don’t want to be bothered with baking, I like something a little simpler, and very, very tasty. It’s called fluff or I’ve also heard it called Watergate salad. It’s a simple dish that I’ve made hundreds of adjustments to that have yet to go wrong. Its foundation is simple:
1 large tub of cool whip.
From there, it’s your decision on what to put in it. Traditionally it’s:
– drained crushed pineapple and
– instant pistachio pudding mix, all mixed together.
– I also like to add mini marshmallows.
Just mix it all together and put it in the refrigerator to chill until you’re ready to serve. Other combinations of fruits and pudding mixes I’ve done are cherries and chocolate pudding and apples and vanilla. Just find a good combination and have fun with it. There are of course many other options to choose from, but Fluff has been a tradition with my family since I was a kid, and it is just something we’ve kept up with.
Are we forgetting something?
Now I know what you’re saying. That’s it? There’s nothing else? What about the third holiday. You said there were three, and you only covered two. Where’s New Years? You mean to tell me you’re not already exhausted from the previous two back-to-back holiday extravaganzas? Well, fine, let’s do this (as the kids say, I think, I’m old). Most people that I know, now mind you I live in Texas, do ham, potatoes, and the Texas (or even Southern maybe) tradition of black-eyed peas. It’s done every year, it’s a staple, but you’re not reading this far for things you learned from your mom’s mom’s mom. Or that you watch on the Food Network. You’re here for something different, something robust, something that says I’m finishing the year strong, we’re out of leftovers, and we need something to end the year right before we make that resolution to eat healthier, again. I give you this, something not party food, something every day, but not every New Years. And, hey, look at this, it’s healthy too. Let’s do a fall off the bone, (or not, if you use boneless roast).
MELT IN YOUR MOUTH ROAST
1 Roast (use a beef ribeye, beef shoulder, or any cut you prefer)
Seasoning Mixture (salt, pepper, onion powder, garlic, smoked paprika)
1 bag of baby carrots (cause the teenage carrots talk back and the adults are just bitter)
2 yellow onions
1 cup of water
4 beef bouillon cubes
1 package of onion soup mix (optional)
Start by soaking your roast for 5 minutes. Cut your onion into quarters (have a bowl or cup of water near you, it prevents onion tears), rinse and dry the carrots, and set them aside. Take your roast and place it in a pan. Cover with the seasoning mixture. I mean really rub it down, you want this thing coated like a second skin (not that a roast has skin when you buy it). You’re basically encrusting the roast in seasoning. Place the roast into a roasting pan. Add in the carrots, onions, the beef bouillon or onion soup mix, and the cup of water. Cook this at 325 for about 3 hours. Check the temperature with a thermometer. Pull the roast when the inside temperature is about 140.
TIP:
For extra added yumminess (on a boneless roast) before placing in the roaster, put a pan on the stove and get it screaming hot. Seer the outside of the roast with the seasoning on it, then place it in the roasting pan and follow the above directions. This seals in so much of the flavor into the meat.
Once the roast is done, take it out of the oven and let it rest for at least 15 minutes. Then carve and serve. And don’t forget to make those black-eyed peas. You don’t want to have bad luck. Do it.
EASY CHEESY POTATOES
How about a side with a bit of unhealthy easy deliciousness. Did I mention extremely delicious, and fun to make. You’ll need:
1 family size bag of shredded hash browns (frozen),
1 can of cream of chicken soup,
3 lbs. of sour cream,
3 lbs. (separated in a 2 lb. section and 1lb. section) of Colby jack or cheddar cheese.
Also, I’d buy one of those deep aluminum pans from the baking aisle of the store.
Now, one thing to note, I do NOT like sour cream. I’ve never been a fan of it. I don’t know why, it’s just me. Yet, with that knowledge I still eat this.
Anyway, mix the potatoes, soup, sour cream and 2lbs. of cheese in a large bowl. I would use food safe gloves here because your hands will hurt from all the cold coming your way in this step. Spray your pan with Pam (we don’t want stickage, and yes, I’m making that word up for the purposes of this article) and put the mixture into the pan and press to even out. Put the remaining cheese over the top of the potatoes and cover with foil.
Always remember when using foil to keep the shiny side away from the food.
Bake in the oven at 375 degrees for 50 minutes. After this, remove the foil and let it cook for the remaining 10 minutes uncovered. Let the heat hit that top layer of cheese until it gets nice and golden. Let it sit for about 10 minutes or so, while the roast is resting, then serve with your roast. You’ll be the hit of your New Year’s dinner.
And there you have it, some lovely, amazing, and awesome ideas for the upcoming three holidays. Get creative, change it up, select an option for any holiday coming up and have fun. Play with the recipes. Use this time to have some fun, avoid the ready-to-eat stuff from the store and make yourself the star of the holidays with your cooking know-how. And if you’d like to let me know how you did, or have suggestions for something you’d like to see me take on, email me at ChefMattCooks44@gmail.com
